Tuesday, February 3, 2009

Best times essay
Have you ever been in so much pain that you just want to be knocked out? felt around in your mouth and noticed that your two front teeth were gone? and woke up in a hospital?
This story will explore why not to do crazy things without speed.


The day I had my best time of my life was on June 2, 2007 it was at the motocross track of pacific raceways. I was about to race one of my final races before Id advanced to a new class. the gates had dropped for the class before me. I pulled my bike up to the gates. I was about to race my final race. We started the bikes and we were set. The gates dropped and we were down the track into the first corner, I was in first at the holeshot, then all I could think about was staying out front and winning the race. I was winning the race and I was the only one jumping the 70 foot double a kid had already crashed on it. It came down to the last lap and I was coming up to the big double. Then it all went down hill from there.


I remember waking up in the hospital on a stretcher. I said “what’s going on why am I hear” my dad told me that I crashed on the 70 foot double. Then I woke up about 5 minutes later. the first thing I did was lean up and I had a big cloth in my mouth. I pulled it out of my mouth and it was extremely bloody. Then I finally learned that my two front teeth were missing. I started to feel the pain and started to cry. I had never felt so much pain in my life. Also I realized I was out cold for 25 long minutes. my vital signs were starting to go away in the ambulance my dad told me.


I started to remember what happened at the track that night. I had went off the jump and nose dived onto the landing the force wiped my helmet towards the top of my head and my face slammed the hard landing. I had knocked my two front teeth out. it was the worst thing that ever happened to me. But at the end it turned out to be my best memory because I got two new teeth out of it and I learned a lesson, go faster!

2 comments:

  1. Zach, this is some outstanding writing. What an experience. What do you have up as your Best Time symbol in class? I like your "pacing." You use the idea of one idea/one sentence and creates speed and pace for your body paragraphs. Re-think your thesis. I like the purpose of the thesis but you don't have to use purpose with such a great experience, at least I don't think so. How'd you pre-write this? Let me know, kiddo. Have a nice break. Stay "in one piece" and again, nice nice effort. Mr. Mauel

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  2. Another note: How many body paragraphs do you need? How do you structure your conclusion? Check my site for structure. Have a good break, Zach, Mr. Mauel

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